Pick One

Word of advice? Pick one.

When it comes to love, run with it til it's over. Give it your all. If it doesn't work out. Learn. Then start again. Idea is that eventually you're learning curve will progress to the point where you're learning has stabilized. You should be able to find what you want by this point. Then again not everyone follows the function that models the learning curve. You may very well be an atypical case. Or maybe you just flat out refuse to learn.

Below is an image of what is referred to in psychology as the S curve for complex behaviors. If love isn't THE MOST COMPLEX BEHAVIOR known to man you tell me what is.
The idea is, in the beginning, you'll make mistakes, but once you get going you'll learn from them. So keep going. Ideally, you will hit that plateau and your learning will stabilize. By then you should be a pro and hopefully find what it is you're looking for. I know one thing is for sure, it's much easier when you pick one.

Some people claim that they cheat because they're in love with two people.

But still. Pick one. Life is much easier when loving on a 1:1 ratio. Those that attempt to love on 1:2 or 1:3 ratios offer significantly less portion sizes. What you have to offer someone will be greatly diminished. Time, energy, effort and patience will all be divided down to miniscule amounts.

Think about it. If you love on a 1:1 ratio you are giving your partner 100%. When you introduce a second person (whether it be an ex, a mistress, side boo, jump off, secret lover, or whatever they call it nowadays) you are now operating on a 1:2 ratio. What you have to offer each person rapidly dwindles down to 50%. For the bold individuals operating on a 1:3 ratio, that introduce a 3rd, you are now only giving each person a maximum of 33%.

For those that stray and claim that love is not involved and that what they give to their so called secondary significant other is just sex, or time, or money: I have a feeling you aren't very good at fractions. Even if love is a "non-factor", you are still undoubtedly slicing off pieces of the thought, time and resources that should be contributed to your primary significant other to someone else.

Honestly I don't think that's fair. Especially if your primary is giving his or her 100%.

Some people say they're scared. They don't want to be hurt. What if your primary doesn't give 100%? What if they're not operating on a 1:1 ratio system? What if you give someone your all and it doesn't work out?

Pick one. Take the chance. Love one person with everything and anything you've got. Think of how breathtakingly and painstakingly amazing it would be if they did the same; if one person sat down at the table across from you and said "You have all of me". The 'me' being the capability we have as human beings to love another individual who is not our family. Romantic love. My heart. Me.


Background: This post was largely inspired by a friend of mine. He says he's in love with both his ex fiancee and new girlfriend. He asked me what should he do? I told him to pick one.

Altruism: The Good in Everyone

I wholeheartedly, without waiver or fail, believe in the best in people. It's my greatest strength and my biggest weakness.

More people than you think will do the right thing simply because it is the right thing.

Human beings are biologically and genetically pre-inclined to care about the well-being of each other. Human beings exhibit something behavioral biologist refer to as altruism. An act of altruism is generally defined as "when an organism's behavior benefits other organisms, at a cost to itself", e.g. when you do something good for someone else at a risk or loss to yourself.

So yeah, the good is there.

Other species also exhibit altruistic behaviors. Example: The Vervet monkey will howl to alert others at the sight of a predator. This howl attracts attention to the monkey making the alarm call, therefore the monkey in question is sacrificing his own personal fitness/safety to save others. Many times the monkey that howls is the first to die. Yet, it will howl to save countless others (and not just familial relations) at the risk of its own life.

But why?

Why do we as humans do it? Why does the "good samaritan" scenario play itself out over and over again on a daily basis around the world?

Sure it's easy to argue the opposite. Why do people put their own selves above others? Each individual wants to live, survive, prosper. Also, caring about your family is easy because you ideally would like your genetic markers, reproductively, to carry on. You also love your family.

But why is it people will put their lives on the line for a stranger? Why does an instinct sometimes kick in to do the right thing?

Meh, I'm not sure. I don't have any answers. If you thought I did, well I'm sorry, I have more questions than anyone. Here's what I do know though:

There's good in everyone ^_^

Sex

Sex isn't overrated, but it is overemphasized.

Sex, when done right and with the right person, is A M A Z I N G. So when someone remarks that sex is overrated a song lyric comes to mind "Some say the sex is overrated but they just ain't doing it right". I'm inclined to agree.

Not only does sexual activity release endorphins in our brain that produce immeasurable amounts of happiness and pleasure, but it also serves to create bonds between individuals when done repeatedly over time.

Sex is a beautiful way to express love to someone.

But the science of sex and an orgasm is what's remarkable. Forgive me if I intersperse slang in with scientific discourse. When things get going, get busy, when you're hitting that right, smainging, or just plain fucking, your genitals send electrical impulses along the pelvic, hypogastric and pudendal nerves which then travel up your spinal chord alerting your brain of what's going on. Your brain in turn decides to release neurotrophins and generate signals to increase blood flow, release fluids, etc. And all of this continues to build up until you finally a) stop or b) experience that mind tingling, body paralyzing, soul numbing feeling of an orgasm.

Ah yes, the orgasm. Many advancements have been made in the field of neuroanatomy yet still very little is definitively known about the orgasm. Scientists have observed via brain imaging technology that at the time of orgasm a part of your brain known as the nucleus accumbens shows increased activity.

Why is this significant? The nucleus accumbens in also referred to as the reward center of the brain. Want to know what else makes your nucleus accumbens light up like a Fourth of July fireworks show? Cocaine, chocolate, and music just to name a few.

Obviously that's got to mean something. Sex, cocaine, chocolate and music all make the reward center of your brain go bananas. Pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, pleasure.

Sigh. All of that being said, I repeat again, I do not think sex is overrated. But in our society is it slightly overemphasized? Yeah, I think so.

Sex is fucking fantastic and your brain is inclined to agree with you. But there's also much much much more to life and love, than just sex.